![\"bacon\"\/](\"http:\/\/www.kirstenmortensen.com\/wp-content\/bacon.jpg)
<\/p>\nA bacon press.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Reasons:<\/p>\n
1. Straight, flat bacon: it’s not just for obsessive compulsives any more.<\/p>\n
2. Flat bacon is crispy bacon, and a clear majority prefer crispy bacon<\/a>.<\/p>\n 3. Martha Stewart might drop by. Think how impressed she’d be to discover you tracing the cuts for a set of corner bookshelves using your homemade quill pen and a piece of bacon.<\/p>\n 4. Kevin Bacon might drop by, and since you’ve probably slept with him<\/a>, you might as well feed him breakfast. And I’m sure he’d appreciate straight bacon. He’d probably phone the tabloids himself.*<\/p>\n 5. You’re probably less likely to see Jesus’ face in a flat piece of bacon than in a wavy piece of bacon.<\/p>\n 6. And while, in theory, we don’t object to seeing Jesus at breakfast, we’d prefer he appear in a pancake.<\/p>\n 7. Although we hope his face doesn’t resemble Captain Pugwash’s<\/a>.<\/p>\n 8. We also hope his appearance wasn’t faked, because that upsets ebay<\/a>.<\/p>\n 9. You’re also less likely to see Satan’s face in a flat piece of bacon.<\/p>\n 10. Especially since Satan prefers peppers<\/a>. No surprise there, eh?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A bacon press. Reasons: 1. Straight, flat bacon: it’s not just for obsessive compulsives any more. 2. Flat bacon is crispy bacon, and a clear majority prefer crispy bacon. 3. Martha Stewart might drop by. Think how impressed she’d be … Continue reading