{"id":1308,"date":"2009-07-31T09:01:34","date_gmt":"2009-07-31T14:01:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kirstenmortensen.com\/index.php\/?p=1308"},"modified":"2020-01-19T14:25:13","modified_gmt":"2020-01-19T19:25:13","slug":"you-know-youre-from-upstate-ny-when","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kirstenmortensen.com\/index.php\/you-know-youre-from-upstate-ny-when\/","title":{"rendered":"You know you’re from Upstate NY When . . ."},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Central<\/a>

Beautiful, isn’t it?<\/p><\/div>\n

Okay, some of these kinds of forward-by-email jokes are kind of lame, but this one is spot-on — it HAD to be written by someone who actually knows rural Upstate.<\/p>\n

Some of them really zinged me — just spot on: 4, 10, 22, 24, 36, 43, 45, 51, 61, 64.<\/p>\n

And of course, 30. Because even after years of being gentrified by Rochester ‘burb living, I am proud of having Chenango County roots — I have a better grasp on reality for having grown up there, if I do say so myself :-)<\/p>\n

[P.S.: a LOT of my novels are set in upstate New York! The French Emerald (free serial to read online!<\/a>) starts in Rochester but zigzags all over the state–and part of the plot includes a Revolutionary-era Upstate NY mystery. Loose Dogs<\/a> is set in Rochester. Dark Chemistry<\/a> features a “fish out of water” dilemma when a Southern California girl gets stuck in a little Upstate NY town and guess what–ends up liking it ;) — please check them out if you enjoy novels!]<\/p>\n

Enjoy!<\/p>\n

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway<\/p>\n

2. “Vacation” means going to Syracuse for the weekend<\/p>\n

3. You measure distance in hours<\/p>\n

4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once<\/p>\n

5. You often switch from “heat” to “A\/C” in the same day<\/p>\n

6. You stay in your house most of the summer because you aren’t used to the heat<\/p>\n

7. You drive at 55 mph through 10 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching<\/p>\n

8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events<\/p>\n

9. You install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked<\/p>\n

10. One of your neighbors constantly has bonfires<\/p>\n

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them<\/p>\n

12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the supermarket at any given time<\/p>\n

13. Your idea of a huge party is one with lots of cheap beer and some people you go to school with<\/p>\n

14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow<\/p>\n

15. You think sexy lingerie is silk pajamas from wal-mart<\/p>\n

16. You know 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, cold, construction<\/p>\n

17. It takes you 2 hours to go to the store for one item even when you’re in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town<\/p>\n

18. At least 6 people that you see a day have beards and stains on the front of their shirt<\/p>\n

19. Cows are just part of the scenery<\/p>\n

20. You or someone you know has a car that sounds like a big truck and can barely make it 20 miles yet no one says anything about it.<\/p>\n

21. At least fives times in your normal travel day you will pass or be passed by a beat-up, old ass car that has had an attempted pimping out, such as a brand new oversized spoiler on a rust covered trunk, spinning HUBCABS, or everyones favorite, the performance exhaust on a car running on barely three cylinders.<\/p>\n

22. You know that the phrase, “Goin up ta,” applies to going north, south, east, or west, up or down in elevation, and pretty much any other way you can travel.<\/p>\n

23. The smell of freshly spread cow manure doesn’t bother you.<\/p>\n

24. Its perfectly normal for your life’s aspirations to be working for the county.<\/p>\n

25. Getting “dressed up” means tucking your shirt into your jeans and putting on clean work boots.<\/p>\n

26. Holloween costumes are always designed around a snowsuit and winter boots.<\/p>\n

27. You appreciate the delicacy known as Croghan Bologna, and serve it at all social gatherings.<\/p>\n

28. On the same platter as the Croghan Bologna is a selection of flavored cheese curd, which you also love.<\/p>\n

29. You know damn well that the verizon guy didn’t walk through your town going, “can you hear me now” because reception is, at best, limited.<\/p>\n

30. Your proud of your redneck-ness and where your from.<\/p>\n

31. You can name everyone you graduated with.<\/p>\n

32. You know what 4-H is.<\/p>\n

33. You ever went to a party that was held about 20 miles down a deserted dirt road.<\/p>\n

34. You used to drag “main.”<\/p>\n

35. You said the ‘F’ word and your parents knew within an hour.<\/p>\n

36. You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers since you know which ones would bust you.<\/p>\n

37. You never went or thought about going cow-tipping.<\/p>\n

38. School gets canceled for a sports team going to State<\/p>\n

39. You could never buy cigarettes cause all the store clerks knew how old you were.<\/p>\n

40. When you did find someone old enough to buy smokes for you, you had to drive down country backroads to smoke them.<\/p>\n

41. You never missed a Homecoming parade.<\/p>\n

42. You still go home for Homecoming.<\/p>\n

43. It was cool to date someone from a neighboring town.<\/p>\n

44. You had a senior skip day.<\/p>\n

45. The whole school went to the same party after graduation.<\/p>\n

46. You can’t help but date a friend’s ex.<\/p>\n

47. Your car is always filthy from the dirt roads.<\/p>\n

48. You think that kids who ride skateboards are weird.<\/p>\n

49. The town next to you is considered “trashy” or “snotty” when it is just like your town.<\/p>\n

50. Getting paid minimum wage is considered a raise.<\/p>\n

51. You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as the “rich people.”<\/p>\n

52. The people in the big city dress funny then you pick up on the cool new trend two years later.<\/p>\n

53. You bragged to your friends because you got pipes on your truck for your birthday.<\/p>\n

54. On Fridays, anyone you want to find can be found at Main Street or the Dairy Queen.<\/p>\n

55. Weekend excitement involves a trip to RiteAid.<\/p>\n

56. Even the ugly people enter beauty contests.<\/p>\n

57. You decide to walk for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask you if you need a ride.<\/p>\n

58. Your teachers call you by your older sibling’s name.<\/p>\n

59. The closest “cool stores” are at least 45 miles away.<\/p>\n

60. The local phone book has only one yellow page.<\/p>\n

61. You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the
\ncafe, and when you go back the next day, it’s still there, on the same chair.<\/p>\n

62. You don’t signal turns because everyone knows where you’re going, anyway.<\/p>\n

63. You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.<\/p>\n

64. You have to name six surrounding towns to explain to
\npeople where you’re from.<\/p>\n

65. Driving to the party on a four wheeler is quite normal.<\/p>\n

66. The town population increases by one-third when the universities go on break.<\/p>\n

67. When somebody says “Thats billy fucillo HUGE” you know exactly what they are talking about<\/p>\n

68. You laugh your head off reading this because you know it’s true and then forward it to everyone in your address book, which is actually half your town.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Okay, some of these kinds of forward-by-email jokes are kind of lame, but this one is spot-on — it HAD to be written by someone who actually knows rural Upstate. Some of them really zinged me — just spot on: … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[211,1355,1676,360,1677,212,1675],"class_list":["post-1308","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life","tag-chenango-county","tag-dark-chemistry","tag-humor","tag-loose-dogs","tag-novels-set-in-upstate-new-york","tag-upstate-new-york","tag-you-know-youre-from-upstate-new-york-when"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kirstenmortensen.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1308","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kirstenmortensen.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kirstenmortensen.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kirstenmortensen.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kirstenmortensen.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1308"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/kirstenmortensen.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1308\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6701,"href":"https:\/\/kirstenmortensen.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1308\/revisions\/6701"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kirstenmortensen.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1308"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kirstenmortensen.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1308"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kirstenmortensen.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1308"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}